Q: How do rednecks spend the first week of the school year? No, ha-ha. A: The older they get the easier they are to pick up. A: By responding to a message on the wall of a mens room at a truck stop! “Redneck Extreme Mobile Home Makeover: Or A Redneck Look at Fixing Up and Decorating Your House Without Loss of Limbs”, p.66, Thomas Nelson Inc. "You might be a redneck if".

A: A Fire Cracker! Ain’t no point in beatin’ a dead horse…’course, can’t hurt none either.

Take full advantage of our site features by enabling JavaScript. Two redneck farmers are leaning over a farm gate when gorgeous girl pulls up in her Mercedes. You give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday. A. You have a Hefty bag on the passenger side window of your car.

Please. You Might Be A Redneck If You Have Ever Made Funny Image.

You’ve ever bathed with flea and tick soap. It’s part of my religion and I’m on edge.”, The redneck cop writes the Muslim man a ticket and looks down at him, then says: “One, yer religion don’t let you slide past all our laws, an’ two, it ain’t called fastin’, stupid. Jeff Foxworthy.

You won’t stop at a rest area if you have an empty beer can in the car. “Mother of six,” the redneck would say, “what’s for dinner tonight? He takes it to the highest mountain, and after struggling to the top, he gets ready to take flight.

122. 2006. 123. “Here,” the Dean said, “I will give you an example, do you own a weed Wacker?”. Honestly, the last thing I am is a redneck. One of the hunters pushed forward, “Hey, last year our pilot let us take out six elk. The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son, “Boy, go git yo Momma.”. Q: What does a redneck do when his dishwasher stops working? A: Hold my beer and watch these boys!! 50. thumb_up 15. Why did the redneck cross the street? You think the stock market has a fence around it. The Salvation Army declines your mattress. Q. If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck. There is a mistake in the text of this quote.

You might be a redneck if you think a chain saw is a musical instrument.

38. 12. 145. Hey y’all… Watch this! Well, that's three hundred dollars. Jack Daniels makes you list of most admired people.

What do a tornado and a redneck divorce have in common? category for your enjoyment. “Say there,” says the farmer, “you fellers didn’t happen to see my goat around here anywhere, did you?”, The first hunter says, “Funny you should ask, but we were just standing here a minute ago and a goat came running out of the bushes doin’ about a hundred miles an hour and jumped headfirst into this hole here!”, The old farmer said, “That’s impossible. Billy Bob and Dale were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells Dale, “Yaw know, I reckon I’m ’bout ready for a vacation. The most popular color? Reluctantly the pilot finally permitted them to put all six elk aboard and the men all climbed in with their gear. You know that somewhere, somehow, someone is gonna lose a trailer.

Q: Why do rednecks drive old pick up trucks? Share with: Facebook; Twitter; Google+; Excuses are like backsides. There has ever been crime-scene tape on your front door. 132. If rabbits’ feet are so lucky, what happened to the rabbit? “From what I remember,” Bubba said, “I stood up and said, ‘Sure, I’m game. The Halloween pumpkin on your entryway patio has more teeth than your mate. 20 How do rednecks spend the first week of the school year? That's the redneck way. Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? I have seen the trailor! Q: How do you know that the toothbrush was invented by a redneck? Turning 30 Jokes. Well my wife’s so stupid, she bought us a Blu-Ray player and we don’t even have a TV. The best way to keep things cold is to leave’em in the shade. I wonder how deep it is.”, The second hunter says, “I don’t know, let’s throw something down and listen and see how long it takes to hit bottom.”, The first hunter says, “There’s this old pickup transmission here, give me a hand and we’ll throw it in and see.”. 30 Best Funny Movie Quotes 63 Really Funny Star Wars Jokes 77 Best Funny Love Quotes 20 Really Funny Grammar Jokes 120 Best Funny Pick Up Lines 25 Really Funny Harry Potter Jokes 30 Funniest One Liner Jokes 27 Best President Jokes 20 Best Banker Jokes Kevin Hart Funny Quotes. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. 70. There are tobacco spit stains on both sides of his pickup truck. If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Kool Whip on the side, you might be a redneck. Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. You might be a redneck if…your home has more miles on it than your car. Q: What’s the difference between a Southern zoo and a Northern zoo? 147. 143. A: A Fire Cracker! He also gets whacked and sent back to his room, crying. We did our best to bring you only the best ones. 35. A: A virgin. 140. A few years down the road, the wife has grown tired of this. In the end, someone is going to lose a trailer. Etsy uses cookies and similar technologies to give you a better experience, enabling things like: Detailed information can be found in Etsy’s Cookies & Similar Technologies Policy and our Privacy Policy. Hillbilly. 105. A dog walks up on the front lawn and takes a seat. Learn more. You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.

Why do rednecks like having sex doggie style?

49. That way they can both watch wrestling. The guy says, “I’m from England.” The bartender asks, “What th’ hell you do in England?” The guy responds, “I’m a taxidermist.” The bartender asks, “A taxidermist… now just what th’ hell is a taxidermist?” The guy says, “I mount animals.” The bartender grins and shouts out to the whole bar, “It’s okay boys, he’s one of us!”, A redneck is walking on the beach. Anybody in your family ever passes on directly in the wake of saying “Hey, y’all watch this!”. You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand. So sit back and get ready to learn some redneck sayings that are “good enough to make you wanna smack yer granny.” Share your favorite redneck sayings with your friends. Q: What do you call a redneck bursting into flames? 68.

You may be a redneck if… you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education. 7. 25. You have to scratch your sister’s name out of the message: “for a good time call . Have you seen the film about the tractor? You think “taking out the trash” means taking your in-laws to a movie. Q: What does a redneck do when his dishwasher stops working? Two redneck hunters got a pilot to fly them into the far north for elk hunting. Much obliged, mother. 10. 131. Q: What’re a redneck’s last words? Your wife’s job requires her to wear an orange vest. How did the redneck die from drinking milk? A: Football and Construction. Then why not share them with your friends? Not in the fancy kind! 24 Why do rednecks like having sex doggy style? They waited in the doctor’s office when finally the doctor came in and asked the father: “Well, what are we here for today”? 104. 71. what did the redneck say to the stripper…….. “call father, he stresses sis”, 72. 55. Every day we present the best quotes! Redneck jokes are jokes about rednecks.

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