I've been stepping outside of my comfort zone and entering relationships, both female and male, and while I occasionally find myself horny, I don't really imagine myself having sex with the person. 3. I was using the "asexual" tag for a while but then I realized at the end of the day, I don't know if that's what I am… Some people feel sexual orientation is fluid. It took her decades to arrive at that point. Welcome! It's so so confusing. I didn't have a very clear perspective of what I wanted my life to really be like, while I was clinically depressed. This is who you are and who you’ve always been—and here is the language to express it. I hid the truth that my relationship wasn’t like other relationships. We’re glad you found this blog post and that you’ve found some comfort and connection through reading it. We’re on your side. Hey, there is nothing wrong with you. I felt free. While I am not a member of the LGBTQ+ community, I related with this. I didn’t choose it. Extremely confused/depressed as to what I am. I've been diagnosed with clinical depression for several years now, though I've always wondered if perhaps I had symptoms earlier, and I was just functional for those early years. I thought that perhaps I was still too young—maybe I would get older and something would click. I don't remember ever feeling sexual desire towards another person, although I've been 'attracted' to people in non-sexual way, if that makes sense!

I got into a relationship back in july, and I still cant understand it. You would have to distinguish between clinical and situational depression. Much obliged. As if someone had said, “Here. I felt validated. A reason, something awful, terrible, or heavy is not required to kickstart a lifelong struggle. It does feel a little frustrating because sometimes I wonder if I'm ever going to actually like someone again. So yeah, l don’t know if I am asexual or what l am. Thank you for giving hope. I always wanted kids, someone I could help nurture in this world. You are not broken you are a survivor, seek whatever help you need to keep on surviving. Honestly, one of the worst parts of depression is feeling you will never get better, but even worse is the feeling that you don’t want the help. Nothing seemed to “fix” me. Thank you so much for your wonderful replies! Sorry for the rambling wall of text, I just wanted to talk to someone who might understand. Life without each other didn’t seem possible, but life together—like this—didn’t either.

Asexuality is an orientation defined by little to no sexual attraction to anyone. I started to dread anniversaries and holidays and birthdays and conversations with other married people. I am asexual (and biromantic—but we’ll get into that another time). My friend said you need to go if you are sexually active or not. I was so petrified but in time, I found a place that I am comfortable with.With that being said, l don’t know if the meds took the little interest l had in sex away or if I even had my to begin with. I keep waiting either for the whole thing to suddenly turn toxic, or for her to get sick of dealing with me and just leave.

I felt validated.

Posted by 5 years ago. Earlier this year, the topic of asexuality arose. Most of us don’t get a reason, it just happens and we are forced to face it, to deal with it.

But before I delve into those discoveries, it needs to be said that mental illness doesn’t need a reason to exist. I want to tell her how much i care but most of the time I just feel emotionally numb so it just feels fake. Can anyone relate? I had a really bad toxic relationship and I have depression. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. I felt free.

I am going down to visit my girlfriend this weekend and realised that what I was looking forward to was seeing her, being held by someone who cared and just spending time with her; not the fact that i'd be able to have sex. Before l started meds at 18, I had no interest in sex at all because l was always taught to wait till your married. Please know that our entire team here respects and appreciates you as you are. I still battle anxiety and depression, and I don’t know when I ever won’t, but right now I have the upperhand. Hi everyone. This was the first time I had heard of it, so I turned to the internet. It was as if a power had suddenly been handed to me.

I have started to think I am asecual – I mean I have joked about it even when I was in HS but only within the past year or so started realizing it may be true. It was as if a power had suddenly been handed to me.

It's just confusing because I don't know what I am. What isnt important is determining if your asexuality is "real" or not what is important is seeking help for your mood. I noticed it in third grade when my mom gave me “the talk.” She grabbed a book with detailed images, and explained everything from puberty to sex to how babies were born. I’m not sure what I am to be honest. This lead me to think and tbh i've always had sex because i've felt like its whats expected of me and that its what would make her feel good. Those, after loads' of hard work are no longer much of a problem; I am one of the more social, optimistic, ardent hearted and active people among my real-life friends.

Community happens.

What I found was a sexual identity that described me and a community of people who felt the same way I did.

I know this post is from over a year ago but hopefully l get a reply. Does having depression make me think I'm asexual due to low libido, or am I actually asexual? Get healthy first and use the journey you are on to really discover and listen to yourself along the way. Here is a way to stand up and fight the lies your depression and anxiety have screamed at you all these years. Whatever you’re feeling, you can express it, you can explore it. There have been sometimes in my life when a stranger told me it was al going to be all right. Only you will know but I hope in Aven you may find some better understandings that may help. Magic happens. If you go to the Merriam-Webster website and search “silver linings,” you’ll find this definition: a consoling or hopeful prospect.

But before I delve into those discoveries, it needs to be said that mental illness doesn’t need a reason to exist. You would also have to control for possible misdiagnoses. We all need people who will stand for us when we can’t. For me, this means I don’t experience sexual attraction or desire. May you continue to find positive steps and peace along life’s road. I am asexual (and biromantic—but we’ll get into that another time). It definitely does make sense to many of us. We need people in our corner to remind us that we’re OK when we don’t feel it. I wanted answers to calm the chaos of feeling so out of control. I've googled this exact question to no avail, and the answer from my therapist gave me (what I thought were) canned answers.

I’d ask myself: Why do I have to go through this? Thank you for being so open and honest with us. When she finished, I cried. Sadly, it's probably something that you will need to answer yourself. Our goal here is to provide a welcoming home for any and all asexuals to come to, as well as provide a warm atmosphere for anyone to ask questions over asexuality. And I kept crying.

It is true many of those with depression and even more so long term serious depression confuse the side effects of depression with being asexual. I have severe depression, anxiety, add, hypothyroidism, pelvic floor dysfunction and now possibly dyscalcula. Your discovering your asexuality doesn’t fix the problem in your marriage does it? May you grow in understanding and peace. I am not depressed. How you feel, how you identify is and always will be valid. But every step along the way was true and right for her, at the point and situation she was in. Every year, around the same time for about five years, my husband and I had the same conversation. I've got erections and I watch porn, but I've never felt anything real in that time. And I love new knowledge about people and their journeys… so I learned something new from you, thanks for that. I sought therapy and tried to work through trauma. When that happens some..understandably ..ask wether they are asexual or non sexed based due to thier depression, of course no one will ever really know wether it was one first, or the other, or both or none at all and that's why it is important to not put yourself under pressure to look for an answer that may not be there. Let’s not consider I’ve been to three separate psychologists in my life with never feeling better. From my perspective: Your sexuality and what you call it isn't that important while you still work on yourself in that massive a manner. By clicking submit I consent to receive an email as stated by these terms. And healing begins. But I have never heard of Asexuality before. As Sally said however so much within the body and mind is fluid it's a chicken and the egg type of variable. If sexuality returns that is fine and if it doesnt that is still fine. For the first time in my life, I felt OK. She said it was a natural part of life and that I would actually embrace it when I was older. I know sexuality is fluid and maybe when I feel better I will develop a sex drive, who knows! That's fine. And no matter what I did, there was a lingering feeling that something about who I was, wasn’t OK.

Is there something I can do to reverse it?

Close. Sex drive (libido) is different. So I've had mental health problems since I was young, including clinical depression.

One of my closest friends drifted from identifying as heterosexual, to bisexual, to choosing celibacy to finally settling on being homosexual. The same thing for gyno appointments. So... yeah.

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