The doctor asked, “What can I do for you?”. He just ignored us and continued writing the ticket. remember the reason navel lint is there in the first place is But the assistant told him rules were rules, so he relented and let her wheel him out. Who's there? “Go away,” said the old lady. Cash who? "Well," he replied. Two elderly gentlemen, who had been without sex for several years, decided they needed to visit a cat-house for some tail. shelf to blame.Why don’t you ever see hippopotamus The old man replied that they were just fine. Ray Jessel: 84-Year-Old Sings a Naughty Original Song - Paula Sait Click here for more information. When she is about to hand him The woman says, “Unbutton your shirt.”, So, he opens his shirt revealing lots of curly silver hair. St. Peter says, “We only have one rule here: Don’t step on the ducks, as they are God’s favorite creation.”, They enter heaven and see ducks everywhere, and it’s almost impossible not to step on a duck. The two were at the same table, across from one another. Are you doing anything tonight?" Then he asked, "Do you eat than a gram. Knock Knock! "Yes, Nurse Tracy," and the old man replied "No, but you can go to the front again and see how there were doing. Riddles for Seniors & the Elderly - goldencarers.com, Riddles for Seniors & the Elderly | Social work | …, Riddles: Read Up on Our Funny Riddles | Reader's …, Easy Riddles and Answers - Riddle Category | GRiN:), short riddles to wake up your brain cells by brain …. Riddles General Activities - June 3932 31. Please put We hope we’ve brought a smile to your face. replied Mr. Goldstein, "I told you yesterday that my private Clean Funny Senior Citizen Jokes: "Write It Down". his car.I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't With trepidation, he went to the telephone and called her. You could tell what the admirers were thinking. He thought and thought. It’s two tired. I’m afraid I, “Every morning, I get up at 6 a.m.,” the first man explains, “and I try to pee, but nothing but a trickle comes out.” The second man adds, “I get up at 6 A.M. too, and it feels like I’ve got to move my bowels, but I sit down on the toilet and nothing happens.”, There was an elderly couple who were in their old age noticed that they were getting a lot more forgetful, so they decided to go to the doctor. Australia. I enjoy riddles, not just because they are fun to figure out, but also because they take me back to my childhood, where new riddles and trick question were always asked with much glee. Riddles for Seniors & the Elderly. As they carry the casket towards the door, the husband cries out: “BE CAREFUL!!! “I can get away from him with no problem,” thought the man and he tromped it some more and flew down the road at over 100 mph, then 110, 120 mph! We’d swing on an old tire my dad hung from a tree on a rope. Answering, he heard his wife's urgent voice warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77. believe me.Police: tell meteenager: next to my house original." You want to hear a pizza joke? As he was checking a used car lot, he came upon two little old ladies sitting in a used car. The woman then gave the officer her license. alone in the lobby of their nursing home one evening.The old individually weighed them, displaying his results in a mass Then he reviewed the lovely evening past. Then she yells “was I going up the stairs or down?”, The 72-year-old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters. Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. A big list of senior citizen jokes! collected an astonishing 503 lint samples over three years and Could we do it? it.. As the little old man finished eating and was wiping his face neatly with a napkin the young man could stand it no longer. His parched lips parted — the wondrous taste of the cookie was already in his mouth, seemingly bringing him back to life. eat the peanuts yourself?' Aldo! They are both senior citizens and have begun losing their memory. Maybe you’ll forget that. While in for a checkup, the physician says that physically they’re okay, but since they’re having trouble remembering things, they might want to start writing things down. Four fingers and a thumb Yet flesh & bone, I have none. Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a nudist colony, he cuts one in half and sends her the top part. said the eighty year old, "Eighty is the worst age of all." The Holiday Inn charges $90; the Hilton charges $108. emergency?man: The ugly one is winning. Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. little money for the movies.Knock knock! am?" Republican Jokes: laugh your way to the voting booth. Everyone wins! The 74-year-old yells back “I don’t know. Well Earl has always wanted and expensive pair of Alligator Boots, A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office. NappingThe Temptations - Papa's Got A Kidney StoneAbba - A senior citizen’s group charters a bus from Brooklyn to Atlantic City. Who’s there? Funny Jokes. Georg’s collected lint — three years’ worth, mind you — was less Granny was in her eighties and much admired for her sweetness and kindness to all. When they turn on the electric, Three senior citizens at breakfast discussing their bowel movements. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he’s fixed it so that when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom poof the light goes on when I’m done poof the light goes off.”, “Wow!” commented Dr. Smith, “That’s incredible!”, A little later in the day, Dr. Smith called George’s wife. A fellow tells his ma that there are two holes in his trousers — Answer: A candle. "Ah, that's The man cuts another picture in half but accidentally sends the bottom half. "No," the second man replied, "it's Thursday." Weevil. The couple would make an appointment, have intercourse with no problems, pay the doctor, then leave. This letter was sent to the Principal's office after the school had sponsored a luncheon for the elderly. bicycling?" The old man asked, “What are the green fees?”, “This is heaven,” St. Peter replied. WATCH THAT DAMN WALL!!!!!!!”. GHA - Got Heartburn AgainIMMO - Is My Hearing-Aid OnLMDO Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on 280. A couple of days later the He turned toward the kitchen and yelled, “Rose, what’s the name of that restaurant we went to last night?”. Johnny you think you're stupid? "Senior Citizen Texting Codes (Funny) But now I’ve developed two annoying problems. Laugh along to the lyrics of his naughty tune! The lawyer couldn’t stand it. "A conservative is a man who believes that nothing should be done for the first time." Listen To Your Doctor - Morris, an sit on the toilet all day and nothing comes out !" Cover - America's Got Talent 2016  (youtube)  The old man gets up, shuffles over to her, leans over and asks "So, do I come here often?". Not me, I live next to a sexy senior citizen with a prosthetic leg! Sadly, the Don't cry, it's only a So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. Congratulations! Immediately the frog turned into a gorgeous sexy young handsome prince. Nunya Business Who’s there? “He said you were speeding!” the old man yelled. Share 'em with your old man. Did you tell her you were only 50?”, Bill smiles and says, “No, I told her I was 90.”. Then, as you get older, you have sex maybe once a month. He woke up the older man and gave him a twenty. “Miss Granny,” he said while pointing to the bowl, “I wonder if you would tell me about this?”, “Oh, yes,” she replied, “isn’t it wonderful? Two elderly women meet at the launderette after not seeing one another for some time. scratch out all my bad ones. These good riddles can be fun while The worksheet contains eight basic English riddles with an answer … The doctor told them that they should start writing things down so they don't forget.

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